Worship In My Life
With Reece Liang
When I was young, I used to always read the Guinness Book of World Records. 20 years later, when I flip through its pages, each image is still vivid. A picture of Kevin Thackwell for “most clothespins clipped on face and neck”, 116. Kamut and Dious’ longest kiss: 30 hours, 45 minutes. Longest time spent in an attic: Stephen Kouchouk, 57 years. Even at a young age, I was innately drawn to the “mosts”. I must have flipped through that book 10, 20, maybe even 30 times.
This idea of “most” has been familiar to me. It never manifested as needing the best grades or fastest swimming times, but it was a need to be the most paradoxical. I felt proudest when I could have seemingly opposite personas at the same time. To be multiple things at once. To be one thing in the day, and another at night. To be beyond the confines that limited everyone else. To have the broadest exposure, the most experiences, and the most understanding.
When I was asked to write a post for this blog about how worship looks in my life, I immediately thought of my favourite ways: singing, praying, speaking in tongues, and worshipping on my knees. Pastor Filmore once said: “I pray on my knees and bow down so that my head is below my heart”. That always stuck with me. When I think of worship, I think about what I am doing, how I am postured.
In a similar vein, my favourite way to worship is when I’m thinking about God throughout the day, giving Him my attention at unexpected times. Sometimes a song will come on the radio, unrelated to “worship music”, and I will think about how it expresses my love for God. There was a South Park episode making fun of Christians for doing this, but sometimes it just feels right! David says in Psalm 119, “Lord, how I love your law, I meditate on it all day long.” For me, worship is about thinking about God in all circumstances, contemplating who Jesus is, thinking about what He said. Memorising Bible verses, writing them down on notecards and carrying them with me, letting verses “steep” as Pastor Phil would say. “Getting them in me”. Listening to what God is trying to show to me, and to others. Looking for clues of what He is doing. Constantly trying to tune in.
The Greek word for doubt is dipsychos, meaning a person of two minds, or souls. In Matthew 6 it says, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other”. God once spoke through someone to a young Seb, saying, “you are neither hot nor cold, I want to spit you out of my mouth.” In such sharp contrast to my desire for paradox, I love that God knows me well enough to desire the opposite of my double mindedness. He wants me to be single-minded, focused on Him. To serve Him wholly, and my worship does just that.
Lord, thank you that you are good. Thank you that you are in charge. Thank you that you are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. I don’t know where I would be without you! Please give me greater faith. Thank you that you love me too much to leave me the way you found me. Glory to you! May your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
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